released by: tcfsr.bandcamp.com/album/susurrus (2020)
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I made no new music throughout 2019.
that was a year that killed things such as desire, wish, will.
it killed "feeling like doing it".
it first killed my husband when his mom passed away.
then it killed me. being numbed became the daily agenda. to bear it all.
ghosts of the two of us roamed the flat and our own lives. who are you?
by december I talked to myself, I made myself understand at least ONE thing had to change: making music again.
laptop was (is) still dying. no money to get it fixed. concept: using this dying laptop to make new music.
so far I've made so many "sound pieces", I've got no clue what they'll become but I do wish they'll become my next album, the one after this one I've decided to call "susurrus".
while making some of those sound pieces, I couldn't help myself and made some drone pieces as well.
you know... the kind of drone pieces I'm always making and what they'll think, gimu?
how long have you been repeating yourself?
6 drone pieces in my familiar style can be found here.
making them were like those moments when you really know what's going on because you are in control.
a safe haven. like the longest track on the album: that's very elevated pleasure. making a piece like that is like smiling wildly.
smiling wildly or laughing my head off has, these days, to do with forgetting for a second.
if I am still alive (and so are you), I'll be back soon.
as I write this down, I've been in a lockdown for 2 weeks. the virus.
like you, I've never been through something like that before.
history is being made again right under our noses and it will stain pages of a book one day will be written.
very sad times x 2.
I do hope you find peace in the 6 songs here. let them in like peace-loving tranquil susurruses.
I do hope you, your kith and kin are fine.
I like to think the people who listen to my music are good-hearted people who make a difference in their worlds, however big it is.
that thought brings me comfort.
thank you.
love,